


Miss You (Tell me we’re alright, tell me we’re okay)

by auber_jean



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23906224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auber_jean/pseuds/auber_jean
Summary: Seven days to miss someone.— or, Jeno finds himself missing Renjun a little too much over the break
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 4
Kudos: 186





	Miss You (Tell me we’re alright, tell me we’re okay)

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old wip that I resurrected in hopes of finishing it for Jeno’s birthday, but life got in the way. So, here it is to celebrate the release of Ridin’ instead.
> 
> Please do what you can to support the boys this comeback, they’ve worked hard and they deserve the world.

**DAY 1**

The dorms are empty when Jeno gets back — all the lights turned off and the cold settling throughout the entire room. He quickly shuffles inside, turning on the heater before tossing his backpack into his room. He sends a message to their manager to let him know that he’s arrived. The managers won’t be back until early next week once schedules start up again, but in the meantime, Jeno doesn’t mind the quiet.

He switches the light on in the living room, pulling the curtains open to let the sunlight in. 

It’s strange how empty the dorm feels when no-one else is in it. Sure, Jeno spent the majority of his time lying around in his room, only coming out to annoy Jaemin into making him food or badger Jisung into playing games with him — but it’s a different kind of silence this time. 

The feeling is odd, but Jeno chalks it up to the holidays making him sentimental.

Jeno had gone through the motions. 

He spent two nights back at home before he eventually came back to the dorms. Because being alone in his childhood home felt stranger than being alone in the dorms. It’s not unheard of, his parents are often still caught up with work, so the holidays, while brief, are cherished in the small increments they come in.

The previous day was spent hanging out with his sister, getting their fill of sibling annoyance that they hardly get to do these days. She had given him a new hoodie as a gift, claiming that it was more for herself because she couldn’t stand seeing him wear the same set of clothes every time he came home — which, if either of them were being honest, wasn’t much at all—, and ruffled his hair with a small smile before heading off to uni for the day.

After his parents had left for work, Jeno had taken a taxi back to the dorms, backpack slung over his shoulder along with the plethora of dishes that his mum was insistent that he take back with him.

And now, he was here. 

He settles on turning on the television for some background noise, setting it low before playing music from his phone as he shoves his mum’s Tupperware into the fridge and then moves on to rifle through the cupboards in search of something to munch on. Finding a packet of chips that are probably Jisung’s, Jeno settles himself in front of the TV to catch up on the latest drama episodes on Netflix. He tries to concentrate for the most part, but his eyes seem to glaze over during the lulls of cinematic replays. 

Two episodes later, Jeno checks his watch. 

3:47 p.m. 

He feels oddly restless. He picks at his fingernails, staring at nothing but the ceiling as the TV blares on.

For all the talk that he made convincing the managers to let him come back early, Jeno finds himself almost resenting the newfound silence. It feels different somehow, and Jeno can’t quite pinpoint why. 

They’ve all deserved this break, especially since most of them don’t get the opportunity to spend time with their families. But Jeno is long used to the arms-length distance with his family. A large part of his growing up has been away from his family home.

Even still, coming home had been a breath of fresh air, a sense of normalcy that Jeno didn’t often get to feel when his daily routine largely consists of the company practice rooms, meetings, and standing in front of a camera with a smile on his face. 

And although Jeno is largely fond of silence, right now it’s almost deafening. 

He considers sending Jisung a nagging text, but he knows the younger boy has plans to go to Jeju with his family over the break, and he doesn’t want to risk bothering him. Instead, he responds to Jaemin’s random pictures in the group chat, sending a flurry of dubious emojis, before putting his phone down. 

But as soon as he does, his message tone sounds. Jeno blinks, picking up his phone to glance at the notification screen. 

_Renjun._

Jeno feels a smile curve on his lips, opening up the message to reply. 

RENJUN:

[ _heard you went back to the dorms_ ]

JENO:

[ _yeah, just got back this morning. who told you?_ ]

RENJUN:

[ _manager-hyung. jaem mentioned it tho_ ]

[ _you doing okay ?_ ]

JENO:

[ _tired. bored. The usual_ ]

RENJUN:

[ _yeah well, my cousins are killing me, and my grandma spends every other second scolding me for not eating enough. so, i could use some quiet tbh_ ]

Jeno laughs. The image of Renjun’s extended family all fostering their own version of affection on Renjun was funny. It was the kind of nagging attention that the other boy was the least fond of. But Jeno knows that Renjun’s complaints, although exasperated, are filled with love and appreciation for his family’s care.

JENO:

[ _well it’s dead silent here. it makes me kinda miss the noise lol_ ]

It’s a thinly veiled truth, and Jeno wonders if Renjun will be able to decipher it. Jeno’s not above pretending that he isn’t quite okay. Part of the job was being discreet when it came to their personal feelings, good or bad, in fear of being misread. But for some reason, Jeno feels like Renjun wouldn’t mind the overshare.

Jeno doesn’t get a reply straight away, and just when he’s about to open up a youtube video to distract himself when Renjun’s text message comes through. 

RENJUN:

[ _you can call me if you’re really bored_ ]

Jeno feels his heart stutter. A little something like hope and optimism that Renjun somehow feels the same.

JENO:

[ _I’ll hold you to that_ ]

Their texts taper off onto random topics from there — with Renjun lamenting about his childhood bedroom being converted into a makeshift storage room with his photos hanging on the walls like some weird shrine. The thought makes Jeno burst into laughter, but his mother has been doing the same thing since he joined SM and the novelty of walking into his room only to be bombarded by framed pictures of his face had worn off real fast. 

After an hour, Renjun begs off after being called by his mother to help out with dinner. And Jeno finds himself feeling a little bit lighter despite being alone again. 

Renjun always managed to have that effect on him. Making him feel a little brighter, a little more carefree, which is funny because Renjun tends to typically be more of the worrywart between them. 

Jeno tries to convince himself that he doesn’t miss Renjun a little more than the others. He fails, of course. He had been trying ever since he got back. He feels ridiculous for it. Because it isn’t as if they hadn’t been together in the same very dorm just three days ago with Jeno waving a sleepy goodbye when Renjun left in the early morning to catch his flight back home. 

Even still, Jeno feels a buoyed by Renjun’s words for the rest of the evening, feeling energised enough to put together the dishes that his mother gave him for dinner and spending the night watching variety show re-runs until he falls asleep. 

— —

**DAY 2**

Jeno wakes up earlier than he would have liked — the sunlight casting over him through the window and with the TV still running in the background. He winces at the possible scold he might get from the dorm auntie for wasting electricity and scrambles bleary-eyed in search of the remote. 

Switching the TV off, Jeno shuffles towards the bathroom to wash up before heading towards the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. He eats in silence, not quite awake enough to do more than let his hand-eye coordination spoon food into his mouth. 

Jeno tries to convince himself not to call. 

Trying to convince himself that Renjun’s words had just been passing kindness. But then again, Renjun was too honest to do such a thing, and the other was never the type to say things he doesn’t necessarily mean. So, for the next few minutes, Jeno finds himself deliberating on texting Renjun before finally giving in — not even Jeno can win against his own stubbornness. 

He sends Renjun a text a little before lunchtime, tossing his phone to the side of the couch out of nervousness about the other boys’ reply. It feels odd because, on any other day, Jeno would send Renjun messages without an afterthought. Now, Jeno feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. 

His phone buzzes with a reply, and Jeno barely keeps himself from flinching in surprise. He reads the screen with bated breath. 

RENJUN:

[ _give me a sec_ ]

[ _okay, i’m free_ ]

Jeno takes a deep breath, thumb hovering over the call button indecisively before biting the bullet and pressing call, holding his breath as it rings.

When the video call line picks up there’s a flutter of noise, clamoured high pitched voices and rapid footsteps. Jeno catches glimpses of a child that must be one of Renjun’s many cousins as the screen buffers. 

He hears Renjun mutter a few words that seem to scold, but to no avail, the voice gets louder and a small girl’s face pops up on-screen, looking no older than five.

She blinks at the screen staring at Jeno for a long moment, before turning to Renjun and rattling off a series of questions that Jeno can barely understand. Despite his supplementary Mandarin lessons and being in constant audience to Renjun and Chenle’s daily conversations, he was all but hopeless. Even still, Jeno manages to catch “who?” and “where?”, before he gives up.

Renjun replies in turn, facial expression exasperated but nonetheless accommodating. He’s always spoken fondly of his cousins, though at the time he was one of the youngest. Now, it seems like the tradition has passed on, and now there’s a number of younger ones to be looked after.

A minute later the young girl turns back to the screen, chubby hand rising to wave, saying a meek “hello” in Korean that takes Jeno aback.

Catching himself from his surprise, he smiles, waving in return. The girl grins back, turning to Renjun to say something. Renjun’s expression looks stunned for a moment, eyes flickering to Jeno before muttering a small reply, and then the young girl is off again, disappearing with a scream of laughter and cheer.

Renjun yells back before focusing back to the camera with a drawn-out sigh.

“Sorry about that.”

“No, it’s fine. It was cute,” Jeno replies, sincerely, smiling.

Renjun rolls his eyes.

“What did she say?” 

“Huh?”

“She said something at the end.”

Renjun’s eyes flicker with something, but he rattles on, “Just asked who you were, where you live, and whatever.”

Jeno has a feeling that Renjun is largely skimping on the details, but he doesn’t push.

“You might have a future fan, though,” Renjun adds in afterthought, voice light. But Jeno has a feeling it might not be. 

“I’d be honoured to have a Huang family member as a fan.” Jeno jokes, half-serious. He’s somewhat charmed at the thought of getting Renjun’s family approval, albeit from a five-year-old. 

Renjun pauses, giving him a funny look, but ultimately doesn’t contest it. Instead, he asks, “How are things?”

“I was literally texting you last night, what would have happened between now and then?”

“I don’t know, maybe you’d have an epiphany about being cooped up inside.”

It’s a jab at Jeno’s homebody sensibilities, but Renjun could be as much of a homebody as he is when he wants to be. 

Jeno doesn’t bother holding back his snort. “What does that even mean?”

Renjun lets out a laugh. “Get out of the dorms, Jeno.”

Jeno shakes his head, already imagining the cold winter breeze against his skin. “Nope, no way.”

“Then what do you want me to do about it?”

The question stumps Jeno. But on instinct, he wants to say “come back”, because even if it’s only been two days, he misses Renjun already. And no matter how much he wants those words to leave his mouth, he doesn’t quite feel brave enough to say them. 

Jeno doesn’t notice how long he’s been zoned out until Renjun’s voice suddenly cuts in. 

“Stop frowning.”

Jeno blinks, pulling him out of his stupor. “What?”

“You keep making that face,” Renjun explains, mimicking what must be Jeno’s expression because his eyes narrow and bottom lip sticking out downturned. It looks so unnatural on Renjun’s face. Jeno can’t help but laugh at how strange it looks. 

Renjun laughs too. Jeno watches as Renjun’s lips curve back into his usual smile, light-hearted and relaxed — more _him_. It shocks Jeno how much he feels anchored by it. 

“Well, _that_ face,” Renjun continues where he left off. “Stop it.”

“I don’t look like that,” Jeno rebuts, somewhat miffed at the reenactment.

“That’s what you think,” Renjun says with brows raised, but a moment after his eyes shift to concerned. "How was home?"

It’s an obvious question. Although Jeno has always been self-sufficient, it’s moments like these where he feels a little more vulnerable. Jeno has never really been one to voice out, often preferring to think things through on his own. But Renjun —being the sensitive soul that he is— has always been intuitive to the shift in moods of all of their members. And it makes Jeno wonder when a part of him felt drawn to share in response to Renjun’s prodding.

"The same. Parents are working, and my sister has uni. There wasn't any point in staying long."

It's a common routine in the Lee household. And is as much of the reason why Jeno ended up going up back to the dorms earlier last year. This year, he got two days of pure family gathering with his younger cousins running around while the mother's gathered the food together. Officially being an adult hadn't really added any benefit to it, other than the loss of red pockets from his grandparents. 

Renjun must sense the shift in Jeno’s mood because he doesn’t push the topic any further. 

Instead, Renjun disappears off-screen for a moment, and Jeno sees his hands pull out a large looking folder from a bookshelf from behind him. Renjun reappears, holding the folder in question with a mischievous smile. 

“Do you wanna see my old pictures?”

That startles a laugh out of Jeno at the random segway, but he finds himself nodding anyway. He’s happy to take the snippets of Renjun’s childhood where he can get them. 

— —

**DAY 3**

“Would it kill you to reply to your texts?” Renjun’s voice sounds over the line.

Jeno yawns, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He had woken up mere minutes ago to the vibration of his phone underneath his pillow. He had answered the line absently, walking towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge before opting to settle in Renjun’s room. It felt strangely fitting — almost as if he could fill the void of Renjun’s absence that way. 

On-screen though, Renjun grows more unimpressed with Jeno’s lack of reply. 

Jeno has never been too fond of texting. Donghyuck likes to poke fun at him for being an old man for his penchant for calling the rest of the members for the most innocuous things. He just preferred to talk to people first-hand — a little realism in a technological world. 

And with Renjun, it runs a little deeper. 

Jeno is far too indulgent. 

He wants to hear the lilt in Renjun’s voice when he tells him what he’s doing. He wants to see the raise of Renjun’s eyebrows when Jeno makes a joke that falls flat. And he wants to hear Renjun’s laughter when he talks about stories with his family. Renjun was much more animated than what his text messages could convey, and Jeno finds himself wanting to savour those moments in any way that he can.

He doesn’t want to miss a single thing.

“I don’t want to,” Jeno answers a little too honestly.

“So, you’d rather have me waste my data on calling you?”

“I thank you for your sacrifice,” Jeno intones soulfully in jest. But he does feel the least bit bad. He hadn’t quite thought about the cost of it all. “Would you rather I call you instead?”

“Forget it.” Renjun shrugs. “We’re already talking anyway.”

“Only you would consider berating me as ‘talking’.” Jeno mimics quotation marks with his fingers. 

Renjun looks miffed by the accusation. “I’m not berating you.”

It comes a little petulant enough to make Jeno laugh. But the jut of Renjun’s lower lip makes Jeno sober up to get a better look at it. Renjun would never let Jeno get away with calling him cute, even if they are 700 kilometres away from each other — so Jeno decidedly keeps the thought to himself.

Instead, he says, “Bill me then.”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to make you pay for my phone bill, Jeno.”

“You say that now…” Jeno trails off, fingers playing with a loose thread on his sweatpants.

Renjun hums in response, vaguely distracted as he jots something down with his pen out of frame. Jeno figures he must be sketching something on his iPad. 

He chooses to let Renjun be, yawning away the last vestiges of sleep and taking the comfortable silence as an opportunity to wake himself up a bit more, eyes scanning the layout of Renjun’s bedroom. 

It’s been a while since he’s last come inside. Renjun often treated his room like some sacred place for sleep and spent a lot their off time in the living room with the rest of them. But Jeno finds it interesting how Renjun’s managed to make the room look so distinctly _him_. From the art prints taped to the walls and small decorative plants lining the windowsill, scented candles dispersed between. 

Jeno’s lost in thought that he misses when Renjun finally looks up again, eyes squinting at the screen. "Are you in my room?"

Jeno turns, curving the camera to hide the obvious background. There's no point though because Renjun has already spotted the fairy lights strewn against the window that marks his room.

"Yah, Lee Jeno!!”

Jeno shifts, his back hitting the edge of Renjun’s bed. It’s a pointless move though, the sheets were an even bigger giveaway. He bursts out into laughter at the sight of Renjun huffing on-screen. 

"What?"

Renjun folds his arms. "You have your own room now. Get out." 

Ever since they shuffled around the rooming arrangements, Jeno has been in his own room for a few months now. He hasn’t made the effort to rearrange the room in any particular way, unlike Renjun, who had taken the news of having his own single room with glee and immediately decorated it to his tastes. 

When they still shared a room, it had been the same. Renjun arranged things for the both of them in a way that suited their needs and tastes, adding small trinkets and posters around, while Jeno was content just to have space for his figurines at the time. 

The feeling of Renjun’s room is familiar, and Jeno finds that he doesn’t mind it at all. 

He won’t dare tell Renjun that, so he just settles on saying, “You have the better air purifier.”

“Go buy one then.”

Jeno makes a face, one that he knows will make Renjun relent a little more. The other boy will deny it to his grave though.

Right on time, Renjun gives him a resigned look and says, “Don’t make a mess.”

Jeno takes the victory in stride, grinning as he comfortably settles himself on the bed with the vague promise of changing the sheets before Renjun gets back. 

— —

**DAY 4**

On the fourth day, Jeno spends the majority of the day in the practice rooms. 

After calling Renjun for the past two days straight, he feels bad about taking up the other boy’s time away from his family. Renjun would argue against it if Jeno ever brought it up, but Jeno knows that it’s a strange thing to do when they practically spend their every other day of their lives together. 

Space would do him some good.

Pushing the door open to their usual assigned practice room, Jeno drops his bag onto the couches at the back. He keeps the lights turned low, and plays the music as loud as he can without getting a noise complaint from the remaining staff in the building. 

He goes through dances that they've gone through during class. But ultimately, Jeno spends the rest of the evening choreographing to a song he's heard Renjun play at the dorms until he feels the exhaustion meld to his bones.

Letting his body go on autopilot, he goes over the steps again and again. The music flows over him as he moves across the wooden practice floors, sneakers squeaking with every abrupt turn and twist.

He keeps dancing until he can’t any longer.

When he finally falls into bed, he spots the notifications left unread on his phone.

RENJUN: 

[ _I hope you went out today, at least_ ]

[ _goodnight, jeno-yah_ ]

Jeno sleeps soundly after that.

——

**DAY 5**

The next day has Jeno calling Donghyuck for a change. 

The line is loud, filled with muted laughter through the walls, the click-clatter of keyboard and computerised gun-shots that were a dead giveaway for gaming. Considering that Donghyuck’s penchant for games exceeded Jeno’s own, it’s not all too surprising. 

“Hyuck?” Jeno asks at the lack of response. 

“ _I told you, use the shields before shooting—_ “ Donghyuck’s voice comes through, muffled, clearly talking to one of his siblings. There’s a sound of a gun firing followed by a joyful cheer before Donghyuck finally speaks, “ _Hey Jeno, sorry, I was just teaching a_ noob _how to play properly—_ “

“ _Hey_!” A young voice cries out indignantly.

“Family bonding?” Jeno asks with a laugh.

“ _If you wanna call it that, then yeah_.”

The sound of the keyboard clicking dies down, followed by a door closing. “Okay, now what?”

“What makes you think that I want something?”

“ _Uh hello? Lee Jeno calling for no reason? Sounds fake._ ”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “You literally told me to call you, Hyuck.”

“ _Semantics._ I just wanted to know how you’re holding up,” Donghyuck says kindly, only to add, “I know how much you miss me.” 

Donghyuck’s voice comes over smug. The words would be more touching if it weren’t also annoying. But Jeno finds himself answering anyway, no matter how Donghyuck liked to mask his sincerity, Jeno knows the other boy is genuine. 

“I’m fine. You know how it is,” Jeno says. “Renjun literally asked me the same thing.”

“ _You’ve been speaking to Renjun?_ ”

Jeno can recognise the tilt in Donghyuck’s voice anywhere. A cross between amused and equally suspicious. Donghyuck has always been the overly perceptive kind, and that was only made worse paired with his penchant for any kind of drama, deserving or not.

“Here and there.” It’s vague and does nothing but to incite Donghyuck’s interest. If the other boy’s persistent prodding has anything to do with it. 

“ _When’s the last time you spoke to him?_ ” 

Jeno has been trying not to think about it. Although it’s only been over a day, Jeno’s heart twinges at the thought of it becoming any longer. He knows he’s being ridiculous, but things have shifted — somewhere and somehow along the line. Because the concept of missing Renjun has gone far beyond mere passing thoughts. Instead, it’s transversed into longing for Renjun to be back next to him.

“Like a day ago…?”

“ _And now you miss him._ ”

It shocks Jeno a little to have his entire inner turmoil surmised into a single sentence.  Donghyuck has always been deathly perceptive when it came to the rest of them, growing up together only cemented that fact. And as much as part of Jeno wants to deny it, Donghyuck is right. 

Jeno misses Renjun. 

Has missed him since the day he left, filled with some strange sense of longing that surpassed the usual lines of teammates, let alone friends. It was a fine line to cross, and Jeno wasn’t sure on which side he’d end up on by the time this break was over. Maybe he had already crossed it.

At his silence, Donghyuck huffs. “ _Just call him, Jeno._ ”

“I don’t want to bother him.”

“ _And you don’t think you’re bothering me?_ ”

Jeno laughs. “Says the guy who was frantically sending me texts to go online.”

Donghyuck scoffs. “ _I knew you were moping around doing nothing anyway._ ”

Jeno had woken up to his screen filled with notifications with a variation of messages containing the same thing: “are u dead?”, “log on and play with meeeee” and “lee jeno call me, you loser”. None of them were particularly enticing, but Jeno knew better than to leave Donghyuck unanswered for too long. But in all honesty, Donghyuck does have a point. All Jeno had been doing was blankly watching the morning news, chewing through a bowl of cereal. 

Jeno does try to be rational though, not quite wanting his selfishness to win. “He hardly ever gets to fly home, it would be a waste.”

Most days, Jeno tries to pretend that he’s not clingy by nature. But being the youngest in his family, he has always been predisposed to being a little bit needy for affection. Not that he’ll ever admit it out loud. Growing up moving from photoshoots and CF’s meant that he grew up too fast and not at all.

Sure, he’s spent the past two days talking with Renjun, but it’s somehow not enough. And Jeno feels like a burden to ask for anything more. 

Donghyuck chuckles, voice sounding almost awed if it weren’t also tinged in amusement.

“ _I never thought I’d see the day where Lee Jeno was lovesick._ ”

“Oh, shut up.”

“ _You’re gonna call him aren’t you?_ ”

It’s a moot question, but Jeno doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’m not answering that.”

_“Do it, I’m sure he won’t mind.”_

And Donghyuck is never one to leave without having the last word, so Jeno hears him whisper, “ _whipped_ ” before cutting the line with a chuckle.

—

Renjun picks up on the third ring. The screen is dark with the brief sound of children yelling in the background that signal that the holiday celebrations have yet to dwindle. Renjun yells back to someone in the background before the call settles, and Jeno hears the sound of a door closing shut.

A second later, Renjun’s face appears onscreen, every bit the same from a day ago, albeit in lower video quality. Renjun gives him a flat look, and the familiarity of the other boy’s judgement somehow manages to make Jeno feel a little better.

“It’s 3 pm, Jeno,” he says in lieu of hello.

“Uh, good morning?” Jeno offers with a smile. 

Renjun just rolls his eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been playing Battlegrounds all day.”

“Would you believe me if I told you that you’re wrong?” Jeno can barely prevent the smile growing on his face. “Actually, I was talking to Donghyuck—”

“Did something happen?”

Jeno pauses at that, every fibre of his being latching onto the tinge of concern that laces Renjun’s voice. “What?” 

“You didn’t call yesterday— And Donghyuck’s the one who’s actually in the country…” Renjun rattles off, biting at his fingernail. 

It sounds like worry, at least that’s what Jeno tries to explain it as. He’s not quite sure where Renjun is going with it, and he doesn’t want Renjun to stop there. 

“You’re not the only one I call around here,” he prods. 

Renjun sniffs at that, heading turning to the side to observe something the background that Jeno can’t see. “And here I thought I was special.”

It comes out barely above a mutter, but Jeno freezes at the words regardless. His heart soars at the admission, and his entire being clings onto it, onto the hope that Renjun missed him too. Jeno fiddles with the string of his hoodie, taking a deep breath and decides to go for it.

“I wish you were here right now,” he voices softly, not committing too much to it because he knows it’s pointless.

There’s a beat of silence between them. Jeno braces himself for Renjun calling him out for being overly sentimental. But it never comes, instead, Renjun levels him with a small smile, different from the others. A little more subdued, but just as meaningful.

Renjun says, “Me too.”

** — — **

**DAY 6**

They haven’t talked about it, and Jeno isn’t really sure if they ever will. He doesn’t know if he’s scared to admit it, to put it out there for anyone to see. It’s all there in subtle glances, featherlight touches, things that pass by in a blink of an eye that might seem like nothing to other people, but means the world to them. 

At first, Jeno thought that Renjun had been humouring him, letting him get away with his occasional clinginess and random expressions of affection. It had been a source of comfort at the time when everything had been fresh and they were newbies in the field, wide-eyed and ready to learn. But years had passed, and the instinct to stay by Renjun’s side hasn’t left Jeno’s mind at all. If anything, it’s grown.

Jeno has never been subtle, and he’s sure that his feelings are written all over his face when he so much looks at Renjun for any given amount of time. 

It’s never been infatuation. 

Or mere affection.

In his mind, Renjun is the only one. Always has been. Since the first day they met, stuttering hello’s in that practice room with their debut ahead of them. Now, their futures are still ahead of them, a little clearer than they were a couple of years ago, and bolstered by the assurance that Jeno won’t go through it without Renjun by his side.

He just hopes that Renjun feels the same.

— 

With all of Renjun’s nagging, Jeno does end up going outside. 

Seeing the sun out a little brighter and warmer for the tail end of winter, Jeno figures that now might be a good time as any to get some fresh air. 

He leaves the apartment on the premise of going to the convenience store to replace the snacks that he looted out of the cupboards during the week. He’s sure majority of them belong to Jisung, and he feels the least bit bad about eating them all — otherwise, he’ll be suffering the wrath upon the younger boys’ return.

Jeno tucks his cap more comfortably over his head, feeling the stretch of his muscles as he makes his way down the footpath, unlocking his bike from the rack. He settles on the seat, regaining the feel of it before fiddling with the buckle of his helmet and securing his bag across his chest. 

Once he’s ready, he pushes his foot off the ground, and then he’s off.

He cycles along the tracks of Han River, letting the breeze hit his face. He goes down familiar paths, pushing uphill, cruising on the downhill curves, and taking shortcuts that he’d learnt over the last time he’s come out and cycled with Jaemin. It’s refreshing, almost as if the air outside is letting his mind breathe as well. 

Jeno’s not sure how far he goes. He just lets his legs take him wherever they lead, only stopping once he feels a tired strain in his legs that signal him to slow down. Looping around, Jeno makes a detour to the convenience store and buying a random selection of snacks and a hot drink before leaving with the plastic bag hooked onto his bike handle. 

Parking his bike to the side, he sits out on one of the benches looking over the riverside, drinking his hot chocolate as the sun sets ahead of him. It’s peaceful like this, he realises. He doesn’t often take the chance to ride his bike out during the day, preferring the emptier paths and privacy that only the night can give. But seeing the swirl of colours, bright red-tinged orange and pink hues as the sun disappears — Jeno sees the beauty in it.

He snaps a picture on his phone to keep, and in afterthought sends it through to Renjun. 

JENO:

[ _hey, I actually left the dorms today. the weather was nice_ ]

[ _thought you might appreciate the view more_ ]

He doesn’t get a reply, but Jeno doesn’t feel too bad about it. 

There was still tomorrow. 

— —

**DAY 7**

Jeno wakes to his alarm. 

He fiddles with his screen groggily, turning it off with a muffled yawn. Part of him regrets having set the alarm the night before, but with the holiday break winding down Jeno knows better than to leave his sleeping pattern in the inconsistent mess it’s become during this short break.

He briefly scans through his messages, replying to the few from him mother and sister asking how he’s holding up. There’s still no reply from Renjun, but Jeno shrugs it off, supposing that Renjun will get back to him sometime later in the day.

Making his way to the kitchen, Jeno riffles through the fridge in search of something resembling breakfast. He isn’t particularly hungry, but he doesn’t have much else to do than to get back into a healthy eating routine that isn’t binging on a packet of chips first thing in the morning.

Jeno is half-way through heating leftovers in the microwave when he hears the chime of the door passcode and the door opening. Jeno hadn’t heard from any of the managers about them coming by, and even if they did they would usually message him first. 

Frowning to himself, Jeno pads his way out of the kitchen to see who it is, hand grabbing onto his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants. 

It turns out his paranoia is unnecessary because when he spots who it is, Jeno feels himself freeze at the sight of an all too familiar figure in the hallway.

“Renjun?” 

His voice comes out airy, like the sight of Renjun alone could take his entire breath away. 

“You’re exhausting, you know that?” are the first words Renjun says, looking all parts tired and exasperated. 

His hair is ruffled from the flight, tucked into his winter jacket, and his backpack already dumped by his feet.

Jeno doesn’t quite know what to say, eyes blinking rapidly as he tries to actualise the fact that Renjun is here, right in front of him and it’s not just some fever dream that he’s made up.

He can barely scrape his senses together, so all he can utter is a mere “Hi.”

Renjun scoffs, irritated. “Hi? I come back _early_ for you and all you say is—“

Jeno’s body moves before he can even think about it — he takes a step forward, arms pulling Renjun into a hug. 

He lets himself bury his face into the curve of Renjun’s neck, arms wrapped the other boy’s waist in awe of how right it feels. Like the centre of gravity has fallen back to normal and Jeno finally feels like he can find his place. He feels the knot in his chest unravel.

It’s a few seconds later when Jeno feels the gentle rise of Renjun’s arms wrapping around him to return the hug. Jeno feels the tension bleed out of him, the sense of restlessness disappearing into thin air now that Renjun is in his arms.

“ _Injun-ah_.”

Renjun chuckles, warm hands tapping against Jeno’s back in comfort. “I’m here.”

Jeno pulls back reluctantly but settles for leaving his hands around Renjun’s waist, unwilling to pull away completely. He finds himself revelling in the fact that he’s not the only one with the way that Renjun’s hands are twisted in the fabric of his hoodie

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you think?” Renjun says flatly, although the smile of his face betrays his exasperation.

Jeno juts out his bottom lip, brows pinching in thought.

Less than a second later, Renjun raises a hand to his face, thumb rubbing against the growing crease of Jeno’s brow. He prods at it until Jeno lets the expression fall.

“What did I tell you about frowning?” Renjun chides, letting his hand slip down to the base of Jeno’s neck.

“That it’ll give me wrinkles?” Jeno says with a growing smile.

“ _You_ give me wrinkles,” Renjun huffs. “Do you have any idea how early I had to wake up this morning?”

This morning? Jeno glances at the clock hung on the wall. 9:47. a.m. _God_.

Jeno immediately feels bad at having taken Renjun away from being with his family because of his own selfishness. The fact that Renjun was here standing in front of him was proof. Jeno steps back, trying to pull away despite his entire body telling not to.

“I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have—“

“Hey,” Renjun says, hands rising to cup Jeno’s face between his palms, stepping closer to bridge the gap between them. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be, okay?”

Jeno feels his cheeks burn warmer at the contact. But he nods, gaze watching as Renjun expression changes into a satisfied grin. 

“And for the record, I missed you too.”

“Too?” 

“Don’t think you were slick, Lee Jeno. Just because you didn’t say it, doesn’t mean I couldn’t tell,” Renjun says with a laugh.

Jeno sulks. Was he really that transparent? 

“So?”

Jeno blinks at the expectant look on Renjun’s face. 

“So, what?”

“Are you going to tell me now?” 

Jeno lets out an amused breath in understanding. He never thought that he’d be here in this moment. A moment where Renjun would be wrapped up in his arms as if he belongs there. It feels surreal, but right at the same time. And Jeno will do everything in his power to keep this feeling for as long as he can.

“I missed you, Huang Renjun,” he says. 

Renjun’s eyes widen slightly before they curve in a smile, his entire face lit up.

And to Jeno, he’s never been more beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally thought this would end up being 3k, but it ended up being double that lol. I never thought I’d see the day when this fic would be finished tbh, but I’m glad I did.
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated, or if you just wanna yell with me about noren, I'm cool with that too :3


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